Last visit at the school


Last Sunday night we'd sent email to the secretary that I would resign my school contract and return my student ID.
I slept until 7am today (Monday 5th Sept), not at 4:40 anymore.
Woke up with the slight guilt and

a realization that I don't have to go and sit there with having no idea what's going on. The slight guilt comes from my classmates.
My classmates were really supportive. They spoke to me between the classes if everything's ok, worried if I'm catching up the lesson, showed me their notes, and said don't hesitate to ask questions.
You know what? Before I ask questions, I don't understand the language.
I have no idea what they're talking about. I don't understand the question the teacher gives us and I don't understand what they're answering.
"Hang in there. It'll be okay" they said it with their heart.
I really appreciated it and thought so too.
Languages are used as a tool, not as a purpose.
I couldn't more agree with this.
So this Monday started in the same way as before school started. We drove to the school. Arrived at 11:15am.
Knocked on the door of secretary office. I began with "Hallo". "I've sent you email last night that I will drop out" and the principle said "Yes" showing a confirmation of my resignation which had been nicely printed out and prepared to be handed to me. Jan opened his mouth in a second "Her language level certificated B1 seemed like insufficient for the classes" said to the principle and she added "She might need to go to a language school before coming here".
Oh yeah you know right.
Since I took the exam, that "insufficient" must've been obvious when they read my essay in German test. I didn't need her to tell me now that I need a language school. I know I need it. Then why the fuck did you let me in?
"Good luck" she said instead of bye. We thanked her and left the room. 11:20am.
It only took 5 minutes. Now it's official.
At the door to outside I just met Ms. Schmitt, our homeroom/German class teacher. She was walking in and taking off the sunglasses. Did she ever wonder why I came out right before her lesson?
I said Hi and so did she just like a reflexion.
We got back in the car. I could still feel the warmth from the engine. Drove off.
I started to response to the messages that I kept unopened from my classmates who asked me when I show'd up.

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