Random thoughts

Relax, then it gets easier for you to see what you really want to do. 


I just came up with this phrase in my totally random mind. That was just random thoughts after looking through some blogs that I've followed and I get inspired a lot by.
I've been really thinking about my future like exactly what to do. Right now I'm working in Tokyo to save as much money as I can for University or college and 2011 is my 3rd year for working.
I was going to study abroad in the states but decided not to, because of awfully expensive tuition. What about going to school in Germany where my boyfriend, John lives?
But what do I want to study?
This is what I am thinking and concerned about. I do love thinking of fashion, makeup, doing model, being creative for business and entrepreneurship and more.
AND, I want to acquire qualifications that are available for work and will make my life even better.
There are too many things I really want to work and carry on but I've been lost and had no idea what to do first..
These days I'm dedicated to photography and my fashion look for my blog and checking fashion bloggers in the world.
They're living in too far places where I can't reach at all and are my inspirations that keep me motivated and involved.
This happened to me before when I got inspired by makeup artists and thousands of girls doing makeup tutorials on Youtube. But in a while, my makeup fever cooled down and now fashion fever's come.

I wonder how they keep their passion on 1 thing like makeup, fashion, cooking, photography, painting/drawing, nailpolishes, hair style, and so forth.
How do they keep their passion?
I'm too easy to get tired of it after a while, which I don't like. I cannot keep my fever forever like girls on Youtube doing makeup and stuff. They have hundreds of their own videos on Youtube that all are awesome.
I don't want to give up this time and make it lasting work as a part of my life.
It's been so messed in my head and mind since 1 year and even at this moment, every second, I am thinking about my life which is given for once.
Even when I'm talking to my coworkers, my family, my boyfriend, my concern keeps running and never stops.
Even now I am talking to you.
Yes, now.
Even when I'm looking at you, talking to you, sharing time with you, my mind is in different place to seek something for my life.
I can't handle it because it's been lying over me

I'm trying to relax to see what I really want to do right now.
Why not take them all?



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