How can I start this? All these two and half years I haven’t posted a single article to share my life with those who have followed my blog, I was in the happiest place I’d ever been and even thought that would last for a long long time. As you assume, yes, it’s over, just like other relationships out there.
You never know how such a tiny thing would destroy everything in one snap and it never gets fixed. Would I expect we would be broken up and I would have to find new place to live in one month? No.
Things turned just so fast that I couldn’t even digest, comprehend and decide to move forward, it was just too fast to catch up, you know. Sometimes this happens.
All the furniture we bought together, each room we decorated together, kitchen items, dishes, cutlery we shared, some scratches on the wall when I carried your rock chair to run roomba, well-used and stained cooking books we used to entertain ourselves.. what the heck? All gone.
Those rejections, denial of future and possibilities, I got left behind of memories before I understood. When I have a flashback it suffocates me and it feels like it squeezes my heart while tears gushing out before I even notice.
Wound is still fresh raw. I am only pretending just fine and moving on. Because it has just happened. Do you have any idea how I heal from this?
What’s different is that I am living in my own flat. Now I’ve got all the time I want myself. I am alone but not lonely. I have nice friends who visit me and help me out in the process of getting through this time.
It’s good and important to be surrounded by positive vibes. They only make my chin up and think about fun stuff. We cannot openly plan parties for Christmas and new year yet but small visits with Asian takeaways or coffee to go while strolling in the quiet park.
Let’s see what happens next few months or my life in one year. It’s only excitement.
Life is like a box of chocolate. You never know what you’re gonna get.
M
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