Wakey wakey


We've got roller shutter on all windows in our apartment. That's what wakes us up in the morning as it opens up with the time you set the night before. 
Right up until it goes up you're in a deep sleep in the dark and suddenly you feel as if the shower of light hits you wearing a night vision device, just like a movie, or you get caught by the spot light of the helicopter in the dark, like a movie. Ok, this is too much but you can even feel the contraction of pupils in the white light. It works better than when the alarm wakes me. This is how I woke this morning.
The digital watch is displaying 8:00. Oops, I slept too long. 

I wanted to get moving at 6am and do some reading or study. It feels like I've wasted time when I wake late. My mom would say that on her days off. I'd say back: You can't sleep in during the week. And her response is always There's so much stuff I can get done only on days off. 
She is so-called a perfectionist. Or used to be. As she's aged she's become more easy-going which is good for us kids, it'd kept everything tight sometimes and made herself stressed more, and has become understanding and acceptable to everyone. 
At least we, her 3 kids, have always, always seen how hard she has worked till today. Waking up at 5am, making our lunch boxes for school, working at a kindergarten till 5pm, then running to a part-time job at Seven-Eleven from 8pm to 0am. Her bed time at 1am or later after shower. Everyday, 
She never got sick. A strong strong woman. But she had lost weight and the glow on her skin. Dad was lying on the living room floor watching evening shows after dinner and never looked at her leaving to the part-time job. I pulled my little sister's arm and we saw her off heading out in a snowy night. 
So we know all the days we have spent together. And somehow I can't help comparing myself to what she has done. Especially when I wake up at 8. 
I can't believe the time I am seeing right now. It says 8:00!. 

I'm usually an early bird but I've been unemployed and a housewife since I moved back here in Germany in May this year. 
But I chose to quit my job in Tokyo to be a student so I am happily unemployed now. The school that I'm required to go for 2 semesters is in Mainz that will start on 29th (next week!). I'm happy that I will finally get stuff to work and to keep myself busy. 
I've been dedicated for reading these days. The more I read, the more vocabulary I find that I don't know (I read in English). Nobody but books tell me that I really need to study harder. In a book I see so many things I am unfamiliar with and there I get a chance to learn about it. You can never stop learning while your life goes on. 
It's 11:08pm
I'd better turn off the lights before I turn a night owl. 

M

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