These Days

 

I know you moved onto someone new
Hope life is beautiful
You were the light for me to find my truth
I just wanna say, thank you

Leaving to find my soul
Told her I had to go
And I know it ain't pretty
When our hearts get broke
Too young to feel this old
Watching us both turn cold
Oh, I know it ain't pretty
When two hearts get broke
Yeah, I know it ain't pretty
When two hearts get broke

I hope someday we'll sit down together
And laugh with each other about these days, these days
All our troubles, we'll lay to rest and
We'll wish we could come back to these days, these days

Oh, I know, I know
Oh, I know, I know
Oh, I know, I know
These days, these days

Oh, I know, I know
Oh, I know, I know
Oh, I know, I know
These days, these days

Three years of ups and downs
Nothing to show for it now
And I know it ain't pretty
When the fire burns out
Calling me when I'm drunk
Remind me of what I've done
And I know it ain't pretty
When you're trying to move on, yeah

I hope someday we'll sit down together
And laugh with each other about these days, these days
All our troubles, we'll lay to rest and
We'll wish we could come back to these days, these days

Oh, I know, I know
Oh, I know, I know
Oh, I know, I know
These days, these days

Oh, I know, I know
Oh, I know, I know
Oh, I know, I know
To these days, these days, oh

Cigarettes in the ash tray
Reminiscing on those past days
I thought you'd end up with my last name
But that changed

And I travelled around the world, think where you living at now?
I heard you moved to Austin, got a new apartment and settled down
And every once in a while I start texting
Write a paragraph, but then I delete the message

Think 'bout you like a past time
I could cry you a river, get you baptised or
I wasn't ready to act right
Used to always think I'd get you back, right

They say that things fall apart (Yeah)
We were gonna move to Brooklyn, you were gonna study Art
Love is just a tool to remind us who we are
And that we are not alone when we're walking in the dark

I hope someday we'll sit down together
And laugh with each other about these days, these days
All our troubles, we'll lay to rest and
We'll wish we could come back to these days, these days

We'll wish we could come back to these days, these days

Dim light

How can I start this? All these two and half years I haven’t posted a single article to share my life with those who have followed my blog, I was in the happiest place I’d ever been and even thought that would last for a long long time. As you assume, yes, it’s over, just like other relationships out there. 

You never know how such a tiny thing would destroy everything in one snap and it never gets fixed. Would I expect we would be broken up and I would have to find new place to live in one month? No. 
Things turned just so fast that I couldn’t even digest, comprehend and decide to move forward, it was just too fast to catch up, you know. Sometimes this happens.

All the furniture we bought together, each room we decorated together, kitchen items, dishes, cutlery we shared, some scratches on the wall when I carried your rock chair to run roomba, well-used and stained cooking books we used to entertain ourselves.. what the heck? All gone.

 
Those rejections, denial of future and possibilities, I got left behind of memories before I understood. When I have a flashback it suffocates me and it feels like it squeezes my heart while tears gushing out before I even notice.

Wound is still fresh raw. I am only pretending just fine and moving on. Because it has just happened. Do you have any idea how I heal from this? 
What’s different is that I am living in my own flat. Now I’ve got all the time I want myself. I am alone but not lonely. I have nice friends who visit me and help me out in the process of getting through this time.

It’s good and important to be surrounded by positive vibes. They only make my chin up and think about fun stuff. We cannot openly plan parties for Christmas and new year yet but small visits with Asian takeaways or coffee to go while strolling in the quiet park. 

Let’s see what happens next few months or my life in one year. It’s only excitement. 
Life is like a box of chocolate. You never know what you’re gonna get. 

M

Oma Erika

When you were asked if you were happy back then, you said you are. In different places, times, with different people you said you are happy.
And now you’re asked again, 10 years later if you are happy. You say you are, happier than ever.
Through storms and bumpy roads. 

A Pavement of Stones

How can I get through this. 

How can I survive this time? 

I'll lose my visa. I need a job. 

I put myself in this place. Nothing and no one else. I chose to be here. So any kind of outcomes were welcomed. And here it is.

The First Day. Lost in Town

My first morning!! Started with a couple of things on ToDo list for today. And I'm feeling determined. Somehow.

1) I will get officially registered as a resident of this town and other required procedure.

2) Get a small mirror for my desk (for makeup when the bathroom is occupied etc) and a body wash sponge

3) Explore the town, find a shortcut to the station. 

This is what I had for breakfast. 

I sat on the chair in the kitchen and looked outside the window. 

I've got all the time for my own. I can do anything here. 

The Day I Moved to Düsseldorf!!

It's still feeling like today was just a dream in a random night. But I'm awake. Then this means today wasn't a dream. Such a big big day. A big change in my life. 

I can't still believe the morning I woke up early to finish up packing and the night I lay down on a bed in a house that I never knew before happened in the same day. The morning feels like a few days ago. And I have to say that all this big move would've been way far from successful without Jan's support. 

I moved to new place in Germany. Meerbusch. 

28th Birthday and Boxes!

Big boxes are surrounding me. I'm literally surrounded in excitement. Today I turned 28.

And no, boxes aren't presents but they're love. 　Love from family and friends.

It's going to be a life-changing year!